Hypnotic Humor

Last week I decided to take a break from my incessant schoolwork and watch hypnotist Jim Wand work his magic in the convocation center. Initially I promised myself to avoid being hypnotized since I was not sure of just how this particular hypnotist handled his participants. After his introduction, however, I found myself drifting back to the first time I was hypnotized last year and couldn't help but want to do it again. I was one of the first chosen to go up and took my place in front of the audience with around twenty others. The process of going under did not take long for me. We were instructed to focus our attention on a small light and listen to the hypnotist at the same time as he gave a few simple instructions. After approximately thirty seconds my eyes began to blink rapidly and I felt myself slipping towards that blissful state of relaxation known as hypnosis. I remember everything that occurred from the moment I went under till the moment we were told to "wake up". The entire saga of what transpired that evening would be too lengthy to recount so I'll give the condensed version:


I became a siamese triplet with the two girls on either side of me in the picture below, when asked what the best thing about being a siamese triplet was I replied "having three stomachs", after being separated from my sisters I joined several other guys as we mimicked the dancing of a small doll controlled by the hypnotist; the doll was followed by having to give birth to a child which I named Leonidas in honor of my favorite actor from three hundred and after the childbirth everyone became a duck in search of food which we found in the a vast cornfield which paled in comparison to my sensational performance as Britney Spears singing and dancing "...Baby One More Time" (notice the songs title does not include "hit me" in it because the record executives were worried that it would condone domestic violence: Kudos to Wikipedia for that bit of info) even though I only knew the refrain because my parents prohibited me from listening to secular music in fourth grade.


And then I snapped out of it, peaceful and refreshed after a full hour of relaxation.